Remember in the olden days when people got married because they found the person they loved and they wanted to be with them for the rest of their lives? Remember when marriage was an institution to respect and treasure?
Neither do I, and I blame Hollywood.
Maybe it’s cynical of me to think that love is dead, but I challenge you to think any different after researching celebrity breakups for a few hours. It makes you realize that relationships for the rich and famous are just a glorified game of house.
Often you hear about famous couples breaking up due to busy work schedules or “irreconcilable differences.” Apparently that’s just code for, “My publicist thinks I should be seen with someone else because it will be great for my career.”
Okay, so that’s not always the case. But 2016 has been a bitch of a year. Not only did it take some of my favorite entertainers away, but it was also the end of some high-profile relationships. We have seen the full gamut of broken engagements, broken vows, and splits of both long-term and newer relationships.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie decided to call it quits and are now fighting over their kids. Johnny Depp’s dirty laundry was aired, along with his cell phone (allegedly), when his mid-life crisis with Amber Heard ended. And 2016 even broke the 34-year marriage of the unbreakable Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. Yes, folks, we have jumped on the crazy train that we call “love.”
But why focus on the past when we can look to the future of misery? Although it’s difficult to predict who will be the next celebrity couple to head to splitsville, we’ve got the odds on which relationships could be headed in that direction. Besides, we need this Hollywood gossip so we can continue to be distracted from the fact we elected some incompetent orange dude as President.
When you become a successful performer and you enter into the Hollywood machine, it’s tough to have a regular relationship. There aren’t many famous couples who can withstand the pressure and the temptations around every corner. That’s why it’s rare when you hear about uber-famous actors who have been with their partner for more than ten years.
A lot of actors seem to thrive and find inspiration in the drama that plays out around them, leading to quick-dissolving and/or manufactured relationships. Below are a few couples we don’t see lasting in 2017. Don’t worry, they’ll be hooking up with someone else a week later.
Like actors, musicians need inspiration and they can find that through love and heartache. It’s a constant cycle of new love, broken hearts, and hit songs. Taylor Swift has been the poster child of failed relationships that look more like publicity hits.
Is 2017 going to be the year that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian end? Will Beyonce finally move on from Jay Z? Here are our odds of musical marital misery.
When pro athletes aren’t scoring points for their teams, they’re scoring in other ways. Some choose to date supermodels, others find love in Hollywood, and some hook up with other athletes so they can breed super-babies.
Will Tom Brady’s relationship deflate? Is Dustin Johnson spending too much time working on his short game? Below are the odds on some prominent athletes, who are either getting close to moving on or are rumored to be having marriage problems.
We had athletes, actors, musicians, now we have people who are famous for … being famous?
These days, if you have the right look and come from a rich family, you’re a shoo-in for your own reality show. Hell, if you’re a teenager with a kid, you can have one, too. It’s why cable is dead and so are our souls. We added a few royals and a President to the list to class up the joint. (Although I’m not sure this President is classing up anything.)
The pressures of Donald’s new job will be immense. Will he will hit the nuclear button on his marriage and then tweet about it and blame the media?
Feature Photo Credit: By Marc Nozell from Merrimack, New Hampshire, USA (20160208-DSC08078) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
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