If there is any single television program that proves our society, as a whole, is going down in a big ball of flames, it’s The Bachelor.
Demographics for the show are dominated by women, but let’s not pretend that some men don’t secretly watch ABC’s heaping pile of guilty pleasure erroneously dubbed “reality.” You know you’re out there – wishing you could talk to your buddies about who was eliminated last week and how much of a bitch Olivia was.
By now, we all know that the roses are the only authentic part of The Bachelor. I think. The roses are real, right?
But I’m not here to bash your passion for terrible TV. I’m here to help you come to grips with who is likely to win and who will be heartbroken from a nationally televised rejection.
At the outset, we had 28 opportunistic ladies vying to marry a man (Ben Higgins) they’d never met. Now we are down to the final three, as single mom Amanda Stanton was recently eliminated. Only Caila, JoJo, and Lauren remain.
Which one of them will win the heart of Ben?
Here are our odds on who will receive the final rose … and then try to wriggle out of the arranged marriage.
Odds to “win” season 20 of The Bachelor
Lauren “Coachella” Bushnell: 2/3
This Alaska Airlines flight attendant is the favorite to win the whole shebang. Hailing from Portland, Oregon, and now living in Marina del Rey, Lauren is a family-orientated woman who takes her faith seriously. A lot of prognosticators think Ben Higgins, who is looking for that kind of all-American girl, will choose Lauren because of her stable family upbringing.
But don’t let the church girl image fool you as Lauren was arrested last year for public intoxication. (She must have been drunk on “holy spirits” at Coachella.) The accusation reared its ugly head during this season, but it was her only so-called “blemish.” Unless there is some sort of twist ending, I see Ben sliding the engagement ring on her finger. (If he can handle the shakes she’s bound to be getting by that point.)
JoJo “Drama” Fletcher: 7/3
Some are wondering how JoJo can win Ben’s heart with a jealous ex-boyfriend trying to win her back and two overprotective brothers, who recently gave bachelor Ben an earful about marrying someone he barely knows. (Those brothers actually spoke some truth, but common sense and logic don’t come into this.)
There just seems to be too much drama surrounding Joelle, but she could surprise us all and still win this thing. There is a heap of chemistry between the two and she’s definitely a contender for Ben’s heart. Lauren might be the favorite, but don’t underestimate the mojo of JoJo.
Caila “Sex Panther” Quinn: 9/1
This 24-year-old software sales rep got the first solo date of the season, which included Ice Cube, Kevin Hart, and a hot tub in the middle of a store. Cheap dates with celebrities aside, Caila is another woman who broke up with her boyfriend just prior to becoming a contestant. Ain’t love grand?
Olivia was considered the evil one on the show, but Caila’s sweet demeanor seems to be partially an act with some fans calling her fake. As Bachelor Ben said, “She’s so sweet … she has this huge smile and she’s so innocent. Then you get alone and she’s this tigress. She’s like a sex panther.” Maybe he’s starting to see what the rest of us already know: Caila isn’t his type. Ben wants someone who is loyal and more family-orientated. I fully expect Caila to get the axe next week.
(Photo credit: Youtube.)
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