Picture this: Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin bareback horse riding through the Russian wilderness. They sit atop a giant, majestic stallion. Putin, shirtless despite the cold Russian winter, sits in front, boldly manning the reins. Donald, shirtless and shivering, is tucked behind him, daintily wrapped around Putin’s waist.
Sounds too absurd to be true, right?
Well, so did a Trump presidency not too long ago. Yet, here we are. After this election, political punditry is the new Wild West. Anything goes.
With that in mind, let’s run through some thoughts on what we could see from a Trump presidency.
Before Donald Trump, no one believed a television celebrity with no political experience could rise to the highest position in the country. (Even Ronald Reagan served nearly a decade as Governor of California before moving into the White House.) Celebrities grew up believing that it was simply unattainable. They would sit in front of their television, wide-eyed and impressionable, and time and time again they would see the presidency go to yet another qualified politician.
Then Donald came along and he shattered that highest, hardest glass ceiling.
Now, under a Trump presidency, celebrities will finally be able to serve in the highest government positions. The next Supreme Court nomination will go to none other than Judge Judy, whose knack for common-sense rulings and righteous indignation makes her a great fit for the job.
Secretary of Defense is a toss-up between Liam Neeson (and his particular set of skills) and Sylvester Stallone (who has ample experience beating up non-whites).
Donald’s economic policies, for the most part, will center around Trump Steaks. And his alternative to Obamacare will be “Great. So Great … Like you wouldn’t believe. Obamacare is a total disaster.”
Hillary will, once again, make a run for president in 2020. And, once again, will not become president. Bernie will be urged to run again, but he won’t want to leave the nice, little life he’s made for himself, living in the woods and making Kombucha.
Anything is fair-game now, people. Enjoy the post-election odds!
Photo credit: “Donald Trump Sr. at #FITN in Nashua, NH” by Michael Vadon (Flickr) [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/].
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