Ever find yourself not really enjoying the Super Bowl anymore, because the whole time you’re thinking to yourself, “Gosh, I would just love to adopt Tom Brady and take him home with me after the game.”
You can admit it, we’ve all had that thought once or twice. Well if you want to satisfy those totally natural, not at all weird urges, perhaps you should switch over to Sunday’s other big game, Puppy Bowl XIII.
Pitting over 40 adoptable puppies from shelters across America against each other, in a battle for cuteness supremacy, Animal Planet’s yearly tiny dog showcase has become a staple of Super Bowl Sunday. And because life is truly beautiful, you can be damn sure you can also bet on this.
Gambling and watching puppies. Yeah, I have your attention now. So let’s look at how to do it right this year.
They’ve trained all their lives for this moment… which becomes slightly less impressive when you realize they’re only about 16 weeks old. But still, the doggos from Team Fluff have to feel disrespected by this line. Sure, Team Ruff has dominated the last two Puppy Bowls, winning 73-45 and 70-44, but this year’s team shouldn’t be punished by the sins of puppies past; none of them were even alive to see Falcor run roughshod over the competition.
This year’s Team Fluff is feistier, more focused, and has objectively the three cutest dogs in the field (Rory, Lucky and Parfait; look it up). Much like this year’s actual Super Bowl, don’t just get caught betting the logo you associate with past success. The yellow bandanas are a new breed this season, and getting more than a touchdown is a gift.
Pick: Team Fluff (+7.5)
The fact that each grouping is getting even odds is a little suspect, considering that 22 of the 40 starting puppies have a name beginning with O or later. Perhaps bookmakers are just expecting a swell of support for Lucky, the first three-legged dog to take part in the event. While the MVPs are selected by an online vote, a puppy has to be named as a finalist by the network. That means Lucky is going to have to lift his leg and make a mark on this game: no handouts.
After all, this is a sacred award. It’s not like the Super Bowl MVP that can just be handed out willy-nilly and without merit! (Looking at you, 2007 Peyton Manning.)
Pick: O to Z (-120)
A certain website clearly did no research when it came to setting their Puppy Bowl MVP Odds, just listing favorites in alphabetical order. This provides a whole whack of opportunities for value. Were the odds listed under this format last year, the MVP, Star (a 20-week old Chow Chow mix), would’ve been going off at +3400 odds to win.
While this year’s crop is loaded with talent, a few really good dogs stood out in the videos that have been released. But really, when you’re cheering for an adorable puppy to succeed, is there a wrong choice to be made?
Yes! Don’t pick Alexander Hamilpup. It’s a poorly-executed pun trying to capitalize on a popular trend. Bad dog!
Picks: Precious, Slippers, and Smooshie (+3400)
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