Where we’re at: This week was a double eviction week, which should have felt more monumental than it did in the end. Granted, the houseguests weren’t aware of it when the week began, but would knowing that have changed the way the game was played? I honestly don’t think so. It truly felt like the only person who was really in it this week, other than Paul, was Cody. Poor Cody. He saw the target on his back; he knew he was “at the bottom of the barrel”. But, as the BB19 story goes, the rest of the group seemed totally incapable of cutting ties with Paul’s many marionette strings, and in the first eviction of the week Cody was sent packing. And, surprise! To add further insult to injury, Cody, you don’t even get to have the jury house to yourself for the next week, because guess what, here comes Elena! (Mark, who won the veto competition, broke down in tears when he realized that he was about to take himself — and not his showmance gal-pal Elena — off the block.) At the very least she gets to keep the $5k she stole from Alex in the Temptation Competition. So, that’s something.
What’s next: Is it too much to ask for someone, anyone, to wise up to Paul in time for some decent game play before this thing winds down? Bit by bit, person by person, Paul is checking off his list and still no one is saavy enough to challenge him. Jason is HoH for the next week so he is safe, but who will he put on the block? Paul and Alex have been talking and it sounds like they want to keep Josh, Jason and possibly Christmas around, so, the next targets will likely be Matt and Raven.
Odds of Mark being eliminated next week: 11/8
Mark has been separated from his pack and the circle is drawing in tighter and tighter around him.
Odds of Kevin being nominated next week: 2/1
Kevin is having a hard time right now, as seen when he cried into a freezer this week, and there are wolves in the hen-house. To say it more clearly, there are Pauls in the Big Brother House. Kevin might not be the biggest threat to Paul’s social game but he also isn’t someone Paul would want around for his end-game.
Odds of Cody and Elena forming a new showmance in the Jury House: 20/1
We would be crazy to say anything is possible, and I don’t see Elena feeling too good about Mark’s Veto play, but the chances of these two becoming anything other than common enemies of Paul is unlikely.
Where we’re at: We are too early in the season for eliminations to disappoint me this much, you guys. That is where we are at. Yes, of course, I knew someone had to go home, but did I expect after just one dance to feel sad about it? I sure didn’t. C’est la vie, the show must go on, etc., etc., I suppose. Thankfully, there were enough high points during this episode that I am not entirely disillusioned. I mean, can one stay mad at a show that kicks things off with a Saturday Night Fever tribute performance? The answer here is no. It’s so shiny! There’s so much hair! The disco is too infectious! The group performance was unabashed in how much fun it was, reminding us all (specifically, me) of why we love this show so much. Sure, people might get sent home before we feel emotionally prepared, but in the meantime, we get to witness some pretty fantastic makes-you-feel-all-the-feels dancing.
Bottom Three: Sydney, Logan and Robert were our first bottom three. How was Logan there? Don’t ask me, as I was clearly watching an entirely different show than the rest of America. Another important question: how was Robert also in the bottom three? The man gave it his all! He had tears in his eyes when he finished dancing, for goodness’ sake!
Eliminated: Somehow, despite pouring his heart out on the SYTYCD stage, Robert was sent home. Truthfully I don’t feel alright but if you were to ask me who should’ve gone home instead, I would have a very, very hard time answering.
O/U on number of times “the run” move is used in choreography: 4
Odds that Kiki ends up in Bottom Three: 2/1
I love Kiki, please do not misunderstand me there, but I do think Kiki should have been in the Bottom Three — and not only because he popped his collar one too many times for my liking. Kiki is a great dancer but who isn’t at this point in the show? While he definitely held his own during the hip-hop routine, we shouldn’t be that impressed by dancers being able to hold their own.
Odds of Logan being Bottom Three two times in a row: 20/1
Cross my heart, hope to die, Logan didn’t deserve it once and he will have to do something very terrible to deserve it again.
Where we’re at: It was Redemption Week on The Challenge, meaning everyone who had been living in Challenge purgatory these past few weeks finally had the chance to fight for a spot back in the competition. The episode began back at the house, post elimination. Remember, Tony and Jenna were sent packing last week, which brings us to Kailah this week. While everyone else was having fun in the pool, Kailah was up in her bed crying about losing her only friend on the show (Jenna). It’s not like she could have been in the pool, having fun and making new friends, right? After watching Kailah cry, we headed back in time about 36 hours to the Redemption House, at Tony and Jenna’s arrival. There was not really anything interesting happening there, to be frank. Darrell and Derrick were working out and Jenna was missing Kailah (they know this show will end one day and they will be able to be friends again, right?). At this point TJ informed the Redemption-ers that they would be competing against one another, in order of elimination (1 vs. 2, 3 vs. 4, etc.) which is kind of a strange way to seed a bracket, but alright.
In a fairly shocking turn of events, the Redemption Competition did not end with Darrell as victor, but rather with Tony and Jenna heading straight back from where they came. Yep, that’s right. Tony managed to flip Darrell off the platform they were wrestling on, thus cementing the greatest win of his Challenge life.
What’s next: Next week we pick up essentially where we left off two weeks ago — Tony and Jenna will be back at the house and we can get back to our regularly scheduled Challenges.
Odds of Kailah crying on Jenna’s return: 1/4
Girl’s got it bad for her bestie-for-the-restie, Jenna. Imagine the relief she will feel knowing she can put off making friends for at least another week!
Odds of Tony being eliminated, again: 5/4
Tony is not very good at challenges, you guys. That’s how he was eliminated in the first place and why it was such a huge shock that he knocked Darrell off that hanging platform into the water first.
Where we’re at: The moment we have been waiting for finally arrived this week. Yes, that’s right, every single Housewife was in the same room, at the same time, and you guys — they held it together. This was no Quiet Woman show-down. Okay, yes, there were some tense moments, but that’s just par for the course at this point. To be honest, with the amount of build-up this last episode gave to a big Tamra-Vicki blowout, what actually transpired at the Sip-And-See came across a bit anti-climatic. Lydia, the shining star of this episode, astutely points out that this is a Sip-And-See for Vicki and Tamra, not really the baby.
Prior to the “big event” we spent most of the episode listening to the Wives prepping themselves on how to interact with one another, which makes sense when you remember that most of these women haven’t had to spend that much time together in the last six episodes. Shannon, Kelly and Tamra all finally met up, which went shockingly well considering the things we have heard coming out of these women’s mouths not too long ago. They agreed that the bet way to move forward was to stop rehashing the past, which it seems no one advised Vicki of. When she and Kelly meet up later to discuss the Shannon-Kelly-Tamra meetup, Vicki could not just let go of her allegations about Shannon’s husband.
You can tell at the Sip-And-See that everyone is bracing themselves for a conflict that just, somehow, never comes. All we are really left with is a lot of will-they-won’t-they tension, summed up quite well by newest Housewife, Peggy: “I think all this pettiness is ridiculous. I’ve lost a mother, a father, breasts. Petty things don’t get to me.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Pegz.
After the party there are the requisite scoffs and snips here and there by the ladies, but it is fairly subdued, considering.
What to expect: Lydia and Doug are hosting a magazine launch party — which she informs the other Wives’ they almost didn’t get an invite to. On account of their awful behaviour, sweet Lydia wasn’t sure if she wanted them all to come, and in a wonderful moment of transparency and courage, she actually explained herself to everyone else. It will most likely be a drip of a party — Doug wants a shaving station, and yes, we are all wondering why — but, we do need these events to bring the women together and provide fodder upon which they can feed. So, shave away, Doug.
O/U on how many times Peggy will talk about her breasts this season: 10
Odds that all the Wives show up to the magazine launch party: 1/4
We’ve finally broken through that tense, awkward ice and had everyone in the same room at the same time. It won’t be that hard to get them all together again, right? Especially considering how much reconciliation seems to be underway at this point.
Where we’re at: Forgive us, readers, for we have sinned. We neglected to recap you on one of the most highly anticipated shows of the entire summer – how could we? We are already two episodes in on ABC’s Bachelor in Paradise, so I’m going to do my best to catch us all up to speed. Honestly, we can skip pretty quickly past the first episode anyways, considering all anyone has been waiting for is production to address the misconduct scandal Corinne Olympios and DeMario Jackson were found in the middle of only days into filming. Basically, Dean was the hottest thing to hit the beach, Jasmine had two guys already vying for her attention, and Robby’s hair is still…something.
On to Episode Two we go, where we have a wedding and a sexual education class. After Carly and Evan’s wedding (former Paradise-ers) we found ourselves back on the beach, cameras rolling and two people missing. (Obviously, I’m talking about Corinne and DeMario here.) What came next was painful. Mr. Harrison, BIP‘s resident sex ed. teacher, gave the remaining contestants a quick (still way too long for my liking, to be honest) lesson on consent and why the producers of Bachelor in Paradise cannot, and should not, be held responsible for anything — the investigation didn’t even turn up anything, guys! The producers would never force anyone to engage in behaviour they weren’t comfortable with! And, while we’re at it, was race even that big of an issue in the whole thing?
The contestants all gave their two pieces on the issue and the entire thing felt like a massive missed opportunity. With a platform like the one BIP has, my sincerest hope was that they would treat this as less of a sensational news piece, giving victims of sexual assault the dignity of a serious discussion regarding consent.
But, what do we expect from a show built entirely on the prospect of good-looking, drunken people hooking up in a tropical paradise? Truthfully, it doesn’t seem like we can expect much more than what we got this week.
What’s next: In the midst of all the scandal, there was still great opportunity for people to hook up and split up. The only thing we can expect of this show is for more of the same.
Odds that Dean and Kristina “get back together”: 4/9
Yeah, he says he is “over” it. But this is only the second episode and so much more can happen.
Odds of another scandal breaking this season: 100/1
They are going to be tight on this side of things. The atmosphere is definitely ripe for inappropriate conduct, but I think/hope/pray we are safe for at least another season.
What happens when you ask a group of super connected young’uns to live in a home devoid of any of the 21st century conveniences they have come to know and rely on? You get MTV’s 90’s House, a Real World-esque show that takes a group of Generation Z-ers back to the good ol’ days before smart phones or Wi-Fi. Yes, the 1990’s are now considered the good ol’ days, which is enough to cause small existential crisis for some of us who remember the decade very clearly. The show is hosted by Lance Bass, of N*SYNC fame, and promises viewers a plethora of pop culture references, cameos from beloved 90’s celebs, and “Ahh, kids these days!” moments.
O/U on the number of times someone wonders, “How did people live like this?”: 3/17
Photo: WEBN-TV (Flickr) [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/]
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