Welcome to another weekly round-up of all our favorite reality shows. Before we settle in and indulge ourselves in some of television’s guiltiest pleasures, get yourself caught up on everything you missed last week. Don’t worry; there is no judging here. We are going to take a look at which shows are currently on (Big Brother, The Bachelorette, etc.), which shows are starting soon (Life of Kylie!), and a few programs you might not even know exist (no spoilers).
Let’s get into it, shall we?
Where we’re at: The Battle Back brought back Cody but only Jessica seemed excited. Paul immediately attempted to rally the house against Jessica and Cody, because we’re right back at square one. During the Head of Household competition everyone seemed to dump on Cody – literally and figuratively – yet, eight people were out before him. After almost three hours, Jessica won!
Paul assumed he would be the next target for Jessica and Cody, because weren’t we all assuming that? Jessica wanted to play nice (ie: avoid becoming a target) so Cody and Paul ended up having a little tête-à-tête where they agreed to let bygones be bygones. Word to the wise: Do not believe everything you hear.
While Josh was Jessica’s target, Ramses was voted out in what had Paul’s name written all over it. Next week, he’ll actually have the power as he became the new HOH. Prior to that, Mark spilled a ton of beans to Paul, and Jessica confessed her hex to Kevin for some reason.
What to expect next: Cody and Jessica are currently on the wrong side of the line if they want to survive. Now that Jess has revealed her hex and Paul is HoH, he is going to have to determine whether he wants to force her to use it, or run out the time limit. Host Julie Chen also revealed a new twist coming in the next three weeks: the Temptation Competition. House guests can choose if they want to play, but the loser is automatically on the block as a nominee. If we know anything about these house guests, it’s that they can’t say no to temptation for too long.
Odds of Mark being nominated next week: 1/3
Mark and Elena are too close to Jessica and Cody, in Paul’s eyes. He’s going to want to whittle that small alliance down a bit.
Odds of Cody joining the Temptation Competition: 4/9
His girl has the Halting Hex, so what does he have to lose?
Odds of Jessica having to use the Halting Hex this week: 3/1
Both the Temptation Competition and Paul have the potential to force Jess’s hand on this one, however I don’t see her or Cody coming in last if they decide to play and I don’t see Paul feeling the need to throw either on the block. He’s got Mark and Elena to go after first.
What to expect next: We are headed into the final leg of Academy Week. Thirty dancers are left to compete for their spot in the Top Ten. This week they will first compete in a jazz round, then finally alongside their all-star coaches before the final decisions are made. Expect the decisions to feel harder and our All-Stars to have even more trouble letting go of people. By this point everyone is good; they just need to weed out those who will be great.
Odds of Taylor Sieve being Robert’s choice for Top Ten: 1/4
Taylor was Robert’s first team member, and Robert may never love a team member in quite the same way. She is also a fantastic dancer, which I’m sure he will take into consideration.
Odds of Kevin Davis Jr. making Top Ten: 10/1
Kevin is only in the game by the grace of Jenna, who was willing to eliminate two other dancers in order to keep him on her team. The pressure is absolutely on for Kevin, and jazz is up next.
Odds of another surprise choreography round this week: 5/1
With a jazz elimination round plus a round where everyone dances with their All-Star, I just don’t know how they would fit another round of dancing in – we do only have one hour to watch it all go down.
Where we’re at: Well, Episode Two: “Shots Fired!”, lived up to its name. It started with CT arriving (he made it!), and Briana replacing Ashley (her luggage!). Immediately CT is filled in on what he has missed so far by Johnny, the two of them decide the “shots fired” are what has happened in the first episode, and they also feel like Cory was sending them a direct threat by eliminating Darrell last episode.
The Challenge for the week had half the players sitting on a raised ledge while the other half shot rotten tomatoes off a sling shot at them; the men and women who lasted the longest from each heat were safe, and, of course, got to pick who would go on to elimination. Real shots began firing from all sides at this point. Cory and Briana were voted into elimination, but we all have to wait till next week to find out what happens there.
On a serious note, something happened at the Redemption House between Shane and Simone that sounds quite troubling, leading to both of them being kicked off the show. No cameras were rolling to catch what happened, but it’s being reported they got into an argument over diverse casting on the show. This then escalated to the point of Simone possibly being hit by Shane, Shane being scratched across the face, a champagne bottle being smashed, and Devin getting bit on the arm as he tried to restrain Shane.
What to expect next: Next up we have the elimination round. Without knowing who Cory and Briana are facing it is a bit hard to say what to expect, however you can be sure that Cory is going to step up his game for this challenge. He has no plans of leaving anytime soon, even if he does have a history of plans backfiring. Briana’s situation doesn’t look too hopeful, as she is basically a rookie.
Odds of Camilla being voted into elimination: 4/9
The veterans think the girl is shady after her decision to vote for Hunter in an attempt to save Cory. You can expect them to kindly send her to join him in the elimination round.
Odds of producers implementing a Big Brother style camera system in the Redemption House: 5/4
I know the assumption is that adults can monitor themselves and refrain from unnecessary physical violence, but you know what they say about assuming: That you should never do it with reality television.
Odds of Cory getting eliminated: 9/2
He has been firing shots pretty steadily since the game began. The man is not going down without a fight.
Where we’re at: Rachel and the men headed off to Dallas this week to meet the Lindsay family. The whole scenario is happening a bit out of order this season as Rachel’s sister is very pregnant and unable to fly. Unlike other seasons, this means the hometown dates are the only time the men will be around her family before she picks which will propose to her. (Or not propose, as Peter kept insisting on talking about.)
This set-up means that while one contestant is with Rachel and her fam-jam, the other two are just hanging out at the hotel with each other and I have so many questions about what that has got to be like. I don’t think the last two guys I dated would enjoy that scenario much, and I don’t think I would like that scenario very much. But, I digress! This is The Bachelorette, and normal rules do not apply.
What to expect next: Next week is the infamous “Men Tell All” episode, and you know what that means! Drama! At least as much drama as you can expect from a room full of men who all simultaneously dated the same woman. In particular we can expect to hear a lot about Lee Garrett and what on earth he was thinking with his racist tweets. We can also expect a bit of real estate to be given to the Bachelor in Paradise scandal as DeMario Jackson will be present, although my suspicion is that will be more of an obligatory nod to what happened and how Jackson is doing than it will be a lengthy expose. That is for another show (that will air fairly soon). Also discussed will be: How Dean is doing after his heartbreaking hometown reunion; Lucas “Whaboom” Yancey (yes, we will all hate it); and a lot of, “So, what’s it like dating Rachel and living in the same house?”
Because, 13 seasons in and we’re all still curious, right?
Odds of Peter being sent home next: 1/9
Rachel is after something serious. She wants the guy she ends up with to be on the same page – which is something they are just clearly not. Bryan and Eric have both affirmed their commitment level to Rachel, while Peter is still not sure if he’s ready to be engaged.
Odds of Peter becoming the next Bachelor: 1/4
Even with all his “I’m not ready to be engaged” talk, Peter would be a fantastic Bachelor. Perhaps he wasn’t ready to get engaged to Rachel, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be ready in a year’s time to fall in love with someone else! Or, at least be ready to try again.
Odds of Lucas Yancey and Blake E getting into another fight during “The Men Tell All”: 10/1
They really do not like one another, but the rather embarrassing argument between the two that night they were both kicked off the show was definitely more produced than natural.
Where we’re at: We are three episodes deep this season and so far it feels a bit too much like the women aren’t friends. I mean, we know that they don’t really like one another, but the whole series is built upon the facade of friendship and if we don’t have that, then what do we have? Screaming matches at dinner tables, you say? Alright, I’ll stick around.
What to expect: We ended with Tamra comforting Shannon with ill-wishes against Kelly (there’s nothing quite like mutual hatred to soothe the soul), and Lydia being very concerned for her new friend, Peggy. Lydia is going to have to learn that she can’t fix everything, and also, that this is the Real Housewives of Orange County – blow ups at dinner are what the franchise is built on! Expect for Lydia to not realize that last point quite yet, for Tamra to confront Lydia over inviting Kelly in the first place, for Vicki to keep spying (sorry, supervising) on her employees, and for the fall-out from this dinner to last a good long time.
Odds of Tamra confronting Lydia over the Kelly invite: 1/4
Tamra is a good friend to Shannon, and clearly feels comfortable being upfront with Lydia. Considering the whole dinner was Tamra’s idea in the first place, she will have words with Lydia over how inappropriate it was to invite Kelly to join.
Odds of Lydia getting Shannon and Kelly to talk peacefully: 20/1
While she may think of herself as the “Friendship Whisperer”, we are all still waiting to see what that looks or sounds like.
Odds of Meghan’s daughter getting a spin-off series, Baby Medium: 1000/1
It won’t happen, but really only because she can’t speak yet. Otherwise, this would be a very appealing pitch for Bravo!
This is our weekly glance at what looks good up ahead. It is where we feature shows set to begin, lay out the odds on what we can expect, and give you a little heads up on what to watch out for. This week we are looking at:
Like Kourtney, Khloe and Kim before her, Kylie plans to give viewers a behind-the-scenes look at a day in her life. The show promises to be as interesting and as baffling as Keeping Up With The Kardashians has been for the last 13 seasons. At the very least, it promises to keep the Kardashian-Jenner name on people’s lips, which is what this family truly does best.
Odds of Life of Kylie being renewed for a second season: 2/3
The fame machine that is Keeping Up With The Kardashians is not easily slowed and has managed to maintain a consistent fan base from which it draws its strength and energy. This newest iteration can be expected to do much the same.
Odds of Kendall Jenner getting her own show next: 3/1
Kylie and Kendall have always been something of a package deal, so with Kylie going solo on this show you might assume Kendall would follow right along. However, it has never seemed like Kendall is as into being on TV as her sisters are. Don’t hold your breath for the Life of Kendall to air anytime soon.
Do you ever scroll through the TV listings and find yourself wondering, “How on earth did that get on TV?” We have, too, and decided to dedicate this entire segment to those shows! Sometimes it’s strange, sometimes it’s wonderful, and sometimes it is just surprising that there is someone out there watching.
This week we’re looking at…
The second season of Happily Ever After follows specific couples from the original show post-visa experience, answering the multitudes of questions a show like that inevitably leaves. Such as: Really?
Odds that enough couples stay together long enough for Season Three: 50/1
The number of couples featured that are living out their happily ever after together is steadily declining. Rather than a Season Three, expect more of a “Where Are They Now?” spin-off.
Picture: Anna Cangellaris, Vimeo [https://vimeo.com/216263348]
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