Welcome to this week’s reality TV round-up, where we dig our heels into the who’s-who and what’s-what of our favorite reality programming and shamelessly enjoy getting a bit dirtied up along the way. We are going to take a look at which shows are currently on (Big Brother, The Bachelorette, etc.), which shows are starting soon (Shark Week!), and a few programs you might not even know exist (no spoilers).
It’s been a big week across the board, so let’s waste no time getting into it.
Where we’re at: Last Sunday, Alex won the Head of Household competition, Jason got veto power, and Dominique and Jessica were both nominated for eviction. Dominique seems like she just started playing the game this week, and now she’s on the block. In fact, it is because she started playing the game that Paul is coming for her.
In other news, Mark and Josh got into a quasi-food fight complete with real yelling and real hot sauce in Josh’s eye. Also, Jessica was given the Halting Hex (meaning she can stop an eviction from happening). She didn’t need it, though, because Dominique was unanimously voted out of the house. Then there was Paul’s snake costume and the controversy surrounded that. The televised episode didn’t include any of his planning/talking about said costume, but if you watch any of the live feeds or follow BB news online, you know that he was heard using inappropriate racial lingo to describe how he was going to dress up.
Friday night’s special episode (which will have happened by the time you’re reading this) has the potential to totally shake the game up, with past evictees vying to return to the house in a Battle Back competition. Oh, and the Halting Hex consequence has yet to be revealed! So much to look forward to.
What to expect next: We know one of the first four evictees is returning, and if it is a competition-style game determining it, chances are high for Cody’s return, unless there is a twist thrown in, because well, producers and America love twists. Paul is going to keep playing an excellent social game, Mark will lose his s*** again, and Christmas will be back on her feet — for her sake, please, let’s get her back on her feet.
Odds of the Halting Hex consequence affecting next week’s eviction: 1/4
The consequence for Jessica taking the Halting Hex won’t be revealed until next Thursday, which (not so) strangely coincides with next week’s eviction date.
Odds of Cody returning after tonight’s Battle Back episode: 1/3
He didn’t play his cards right the first time around, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a good competitor.
Odds of Josh having to sit out a competition because of his hot sauce injuries: 100/1
He was obviously very upset to have hot sauce and pickle juice thrown in his face, as neither should be anywhere near a person’s eyes. But I think he’s gonna pull through this one.
This year’s All-Stars are: Gaby Diaz, Comfort Fedoke, Marko Germar, Jasmine Harper, Allison Holker, Jenna Johnson, Paul Karmiryan, Robert Roldan, Cyrus Spencer, and Fik-Shun Stegall.
What to expect next: Next week’s episode will be more Academy Week for the All-Stars and dancers. With competition already this stiff, you can expect some more big surprises (like poor Darius) and with only ten spots available, you can also expect the All-Stars to hold competitors to a high standard.
Odds of Logan Hernandez earning a top-ten spot over Kevin Davis: 2/3
Both dancers had multiple All-Stars vying for them, and both ended up on Allison’s team. However, contemporary dancers have had a better run on the show, historically; their additional technical training makes adapting to/learning other styles that much easier. Davis, a krumper, will have to work very hard to prove his versatility throughout the Academy.
Odds of anyone on Gaby’s team beating Lex into the top ten: 20/1
The video clips above speak for themselves at this point. Lex moves like running water. If I were any of the other dancers, I would be steering clear of Gaby’s team to at least have a chance.
Odds that producers bring Darius back in a wonderful plot twist: 100/1
Why oh why did he have to go? Twists keep us interested, but with so many other fantastic competitors on stage already, we will just have to hope he returns for another shot next season.
Where we’re at: It’s the first week of The Challenge‘s aptly named 30th season and things are already at a fever pitch. Not only did we lose two competitors before the competition even began (CT was unable to even make it to Colombia due to passport issues, and Ashley left the show after a lost-luggage induced meltdown), the first challenge was immediate and it was intense. The Purge was the name and purging was indeed the game. A total of six players were sent home in a series of elimination rounds; Cory and Jessica were the overall winners, and each had to choose three players to eliminate. Cory chose Devin, Shane, and Darrell. Jessica chose Simone, LaToya, and Amanda.
Don’t get too sad about anyone going home just yet, however. The eliminated players have been sent to the Redemption House. The name suggests they have a chance at returning. Just a hunch.
What to expect next: We did just get started, but with the pace the show has already set, you can expect regular drama and major twists. Case in point: the players are not actually playing for a piece of the $350,000; they are playing for $1 million, they just don’t it yet know. If and when this becomes common knowledge, you can definitely expect things to get a whole lot dirtier.
Odds that Darrell comes back from the Redemption House: 1/4
He is a beast, and the entire reason Cory got rid of him was because he didn’t feel he would be able to beat Darrell in competitions. If there is a Redemption competition to get back into the mix, I’ll give you one guess at who the favorite will be. I’ll also give you one hint: it’s Darrell.
Odds that Ashley’s luggage shows up next week: 100/1
I mean, sure, the producers would probably just ship it right back to wherever in the world she is now, but how hilarious would it be for her luggage to show up a day or two after she leaves in a huge flurry of emotion because she didn’t have a sports bra or runners?
Odds of TJ Lavin revealing the cash-prize surprise next week: 1,000/1
They’re saving that kind of reveal for later, but don’t expect him to keep it a secret until the very end.
Where we’re at: This week was hometown dates, which saw Rachel head to the hometowns of the four lucky rose-recipients from last week. Bryan Abasolo, Dean Unglert, Eric Bigger, and Peter Kraus each brought Rachel home to meet their families, which for Dean was the first time his family had been under the same roof in eight years. The reunion between Dean and his father, who had not seen one another in two years, was an emotional one. Ultimately, Rachel sent Dean home in what she called a “selfish” decision. Dean was shocked, but has since taken to his Instagram to say he has nothing but love and respect for our Bachelorette.
What to expect next: Instead of the typical overnight dates, Rachel invites the guys to meet her family. You can expect to hear a lot more about Peter’s reservations on marriage (you know the family is going to want to talk about that), whether each remaining bachelor is ready for commitment, and according to ABC, you can expect Rachel to be left in tears after her time with one of them. With equal concerns about each guy, Rachel is going to be doing some serious soul-searching in the coming week.
Odds of Peter going home next week: 2/3
ABC’s preview of next week shows Rachel in tears after some time with Peter, so with what we know about his reservations on marriage and whether or not he is ready for engagement (Rachel has clearly stated she is), it is likely that she is going to give him the space he needs to figure that stuff out.
Odds of Rachel marrying the winner: 2/1
Rachel is the oldest Bachelorette in show history, and while age doesn’t necessarily mean she is more suited to marry a man she has only really just met, her perspective going in has been as mature as you will find on this show. She is looking for someone with the same views and same seriousness about their relationship. We can at least expect them to give it their all.
Odds of Dean becoming the next Bachelor: 20/1
Before People magazine released this article stating that Dean Unglert doesn’t feel emotionally ready to become the next Bachelor, we would’ve given this better odds. America loves Dean! (Or, at least his blue eyes.) It isn’t completely impossible that we’ll see his face on our screens again — just unlikely for next season.
Where we’re at: We are only two episodes deep into season 12 and already wondering what we got ourselves into. This week:
What to expect: It goes without saying, doesn’t it? Drama. Drama is what the Real Housewives empire has been built on, after all. Seriously, we are two episodes in and people are being blamed for weight gains, friendships are being called off, and a new woman is in town — which you know will make some of the other ladies feel a bit jealous/threatened.
Odds of Shannon acting like nothing happened between her and Lydia within two episodes: 1/3
This is what the Wives do best. They’ll go for lunch, hash it out, and then go for lunch again.
Odds of Tamra getting upset with Kelly over hiring a personal trainer that is not Tamra: 6/1
At this point, Tamra has other things on her mind. But, as we know, grudges do tend to come and go in the O.C.
Odds that Lydia will succeed in healing the rift between Shannon and Vicki: 9/1
Lydia has some good points, even if she should have waited a little longer to express them. Both sides are hurt, and if they were willing to admit that, then some healing could potentially occur. Will this happen, though? The cut runs deep on this one, Lydia.
This is our weekly glance at what looks good up ahead. It is where we feature shows set to begin, lay out the odds on what we can expect, and give you a little heads up on what to watch out for. This week we are looking forward to:
That’s right, Olympic hero and cup-enthusiast Michael Phelps is going head to head with a shark.
There’s a chance this goes incredibly poorly, and that the old phrase “jumping the shark” becomes “racing the shark.” But it sounds like must-see TV in my book.
Odds of Shark Week coming back for a 30th season: 1/999
Oh, come on. They’re not quitting one year before the three-decade mark. Also, it’s awesome.
Odds that Michael Phelps wins his race against the Great White Shark: 9/1
Michael Phelps is not exactly your average human being, I will give you that. However, a shark literally swims all day, every day, and a Great White Shark is on top of the shark pyramid. Great Whites can reach 25 MPH, while Phelps has been clocked at around six MPH. Even if Phelps gets some sort of handicap, that’s a pretty big difference.
Do you ever scroll through the TV listings and find yourself wondering, “How on earth did that get on TV?” We have, too, and decided to dedicate this entire segment to those shows! Reality TV is full of the weird, wonderful, and downright confusing at times. Let’s unearth some of those gems together.
This week we’re looking at…
Yes, Kate and her eight children are back, but for a limited time only! Maybe you didn’t even know they were still on air. Well, The TLC show, formerly known as Jon & Kate Plus 8 (before Jon and Kate got divorced — and before Jon started living “off the grid,” working first at as a cook at TGI Friday’s and now as a stripper), is back for a short three-episode season. This would make it Kate’s tenth consecutive season on air with TLC, however, with such a limited run this year, a seventh season of this iteration seems unlikely.
Odds of one or more of the children writing a tell-all book one day: 1/4
They grew up with a camera crew in their home, and with the world knowing all of the dirty laundry most families keep hidden. Would it be unheard of for one of the eight children to seize the opportunity to tell their story their way? Not at all.
Odds of Kate Plus 8 returning for a seventh season next year: 9/1
A where-are-they-now-type TV special is more likely at this point.
Odds of Jon getting his own spin-off series: 20/1
The man lives “off the grid” very much on purpose. Although it would be fun to watch him try his hand at the various jobs he seems attracted to, he does not seem likely to want the limelight ever again.
Photo credit: Dean (leu) (flickr) [https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/]
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