Welcome back to your weekly reality TV round-up. This is the place where we get our hands dirty so you don’t have to! Each week we cover some of the biggest shows on right now (Big Brother! So You Think You Can Dance!), bringing you up to speed on what just happened and laying out some odds on what is about to go down. We’ll also highlight some up-and-coming shows (Carpool Karaoke, anyone?), as well as some slightly-off-centre choices that you may or may not have heard of (A Night With My Ex).
It was a big week across the board, so sit back and settle in for a bit. (Here’s last week, in case you missed it.)
Where we’re at: Oh, where to begin? This last week was a full one. Full of power struggles, full of fighting, full of showmance turmoil, and full of Josh being turned up to “30” — which was truly as awful as it sounds. More on that in a moment. We started the week with Paul as HoH, Jessica holding the Halting Hex, Paul not really believing Jessica that her Hex was going to do what she said it would do, and so, Paul nominating Jessica and Cody for eviction. We ended the week with Jessica and Cody still in the game, and with Josh as HoH.
What happened in between?
Paul and Cody got into it, when Cody thought that Paul was disrespecting Jessica by telling her to lower her voice. Jessica wasn’t even really that upset at Paul, but she was super upset at Cody after he lost his temper over it. Now we have an angry Paul, an irate Cody, a strangely reasonable Jessica, and, oh, a Josh who decided that this was the time to turn it up. After yelling about Cody and at Mark, Josh grabbed some pots and pans, creating a “circus” — or more accurately, a genuine living hell for the rest of the house guests.
Paul and Jessica attempted to strike a deal over who would or wouldn’t be eliminated this week. He didn’t want her to use her Hex; she had demands on what she wants from the house if that were to happen. Paul worked his spectacular Paul magic, getting the majority of the house on board with Jessica’s terms, and then the explosion happened.
See, Jessica thought she overheard a sketchy conversation happening between Kevin, Raven, and Jason. It was not sketchy in the slightest, but she really thought it was. Suddenly, poor Raven was cornered in a room by Jessica and Cody, being accused of scandalous dealings that never happened, and Jessica’s anger unlocked just enough to convince her that the Hex was back on the table.
Remember the deal she made with Paul? Yeah, he did, too. When Paul heard their deal was done, he did what only Paul is capable of doing: he unleashed the hounds. Oh, Cody. Oh, Jessica. In the most iconic moment of the season so far, Paul turned to Josh and told him, “Turn it up to a 30. Pots, everything.” Turn it up, he did. There was a lot of yelling, and when Jessica and Cody attempted to leave the room, ol’ Pauly boy decided that was just not going to happen. He convinced everyone to follow them outside and just keep yelling.
By the time the eviction rolled around, the fire had all but burned out. Jessica used her Halting Hex, and because Paul had used his veto (which he won earlier on, because of course Paul won the veto) to save Jason, no one went home this week. Josh won the zombie-themed HoH competition, which is the perfect beginning to what Julie Chen informed us is Horror Week on Big Brother Season 19.
What to expect next: Paul is HoH again (okay, technically Josh is, but guys, we all know Paul is the one pulling the strings). Jessica, Cody, Mark and Elena should all feel worried. We still have the second Temptation competition to look forward to as we enter Horror Week, which we can expect to influence the theme of the competition.
Odds of Cody entering the Temptation Challenge: 4/9
The second Temptation Challenge is up, and this time around, Cody doesn’t have a Hex to protect him. Winning the Temptation Challenge would automatically keep him safe from eviction this week, which he could very well need. Cody is a strong competitor, so with his neck possibly on the line, he is going to lean on his strengths to survive.
Odds of Josh nominating Jessica for eviction: 5/4
Or rather, odds of Paul wanting Jessica to be up for eviction.
Odds of Mark being nominated for eviction: 9/1
Mark is another house guest that Paul wants outta there. His showmance with Elena has been crumbling, and his only real allegiance, otherwise, is with Cody, who is not really on anyone’s good side at the moment. Is it necessary for him to be removed this week, however? Probably not.
The episode began with the All-Stars having each of their three dancers performing a jazz routine, choreographed by Sonya, in front of the entire panel. Only two dancers from each group advanced to the final round, where they danced one-on-one with their All-Star. Out of these 20 dancers the All-Stars will chose our Top Ten.
What to expect next: Next week we go live for the first time this season. The All-Stars will be announcing their final decisions on who makes the Top Ten, and the finalists will be dancing with their respective All-Stars for viewer votes. Expect to be happy, sad, and everything in between next week, as the coaches have some terribly hard decisions to make. Lex or Evan? Kiki or Konkrete? Sofia or Koine? Honestly, I do not envy the All-Stars on this one. Nor do I envy my future self, for she is about to feel it all.
Odds of Lex being chosen over Evan: 1/3
Evan was really good this week, do not get me wrong. He kind of came out of nowhere, if we are honest, and would absolutely deserve a spot in the Top Ten. However, if production counts for anything, Lex has already been given a lot more on-air time than Evan (we didn’t even get to see Evan’s audition), which typically means he won’t last long. There is also the fact that Lex is technically incredible, even if the coaches feel he needs to “get out of his head” a bit more.
Odds of Kaylee making the Top Ten: 1/1
Between Kaylee and Havoc, it could truly go either way. While Kaylee struggled with allowing her personality to shine through during rehearsals, Havoc had a harder time with the choreography. Once they were performing alongside Cyrus though, you really would never have guessed it if you didn’t already know.
Odds of Konkrete advancing over Kiki: 5/4
This will be a hard decision for Gaby to make, no doubt about it. Konkrete really stepped his game up this week, proving his persistence can pay off. Kiki is, however, a fantastic dancer already in possession of the self-confidence Konkrete is just learning he will need to make it through.
Where we’re at: We started where we left off last week, with Cory and Briana being nominated for elimination. The elimination round was held in the Presidio, which is basically like last season’s Fortress, just re-branded a bit. After the eligible contestants packed their bags and headed over to the Presidio, TJ introduced them to the Double Cross. So aptly named, the Double Cross not only determined who would be up for elimination next to Cory and Briana, but it also created more division in the ranks. Derrick H. and Britni were the ones chosen for the elimination round.
The actual elimination round is called Balls to the Wall. Cory beat Derrick, Britni beat Briana, and new enemies were made over the entire process. Tori has now sworn to destroy Dario as revenge for Derrick! And Britni is gunning for Veronica! The Double Cross worked! The next day’s challenge was a ten person Hall Brawl, played in male and female heats. Players had to run down a narrow hallway, grab a ring, then get back to their home side to hang the ring up on a hook. The first team to five rings won, which ended up being Dario’s Green Team, for both men and women.
What to expect next: Next week is eliminations. We’ve got Jordan, Bananas, Nelson, Derrick K., Tony, and Ammo for the guys; Camila, Jenna, Kailah, Britni, Jemmye, and Nicole for the gals. There are some strong players in the mix now left vulnerable for elimination, which has the potential to shake the game up quite a bit. Whatever next week’s challenge ends up being, we can all safely assume it will stay true to the season’s theme (dirty – in case you somehow managed to forget).
Odds there will be a multiple person elimination next episode: 1/2
There are so many people up for elimination this week and by all accounts the game is just going to keep getting dirtier.
Odds of Britni being eliminated this next week: 9/1
Yes, she’s been up for elimination twice in the span of a week now, but she battled back, beating Briana in the last elimination round. Not to mention going up against five other women this time around gives her a better chance at surviving once again.
Over/Under on how many times the word “dirty” is used next episode: 20
It is ridiculous how often the producers, players, and host feel the need to remind us that this is the Dirty Thirty. How could we ever forget?
Where we’re at: This week was the Men Tell All episode, or as it would more accurately be called, The Men Demand Lee Garrett Give Us An Answer episode. Now, the Tell All episodes are not typically the most interesting (unless anti-climaxes are really your thing), but this time around there was a lot to talk about. Mainly, Lee Garrett and his racist tweets. A lot of time and energy (30 minutes, to be precise) was given to Lee, and rightfully so. Even before Rachel came out on stage, the other men present were putting the pressure on him, demanding he explain himself (why come on the first Bachelorette with a black woman if you have an issue with black people?), asking him if he understood his own racism, and (thank you, Josiah and Anthony) laying it out. By the time Rachel came out, Lee had more or less apologized. He at least “denounced” the tweets.
What to expect next: Because the format of the hometown and Fantasy Suite dates was different than normal this season, it means we still haven’t had that rose ceremony! As of right now, we have three bachelors vying for Rachel’s love and affection. This coming week will be that rose ceremony, where either Peter, Eric or Bryan gets sent home. Let’s be real, though. It won’t be Bryan.
Odds Rachel and Bryan get engaged: 1/20
Does anyone remember that he got two hometown dates with her? One with her best gal pals, and one with the family? Eric might have been invited to the fantasy suite, but Bryan got a different kind of invite: the one into her life. All poor Peter got was some tears and a lot of conversation about commitment.
Odds Peter gets sent home next: 1/9
I’ll just keep saying it. Peter is not on the same page as Rachel, and she doesn’t have time (nor does she feel much like creating any) for that.
Odds Rachel and Bryan get married: 20/1
She is the one who told Peter that engagement is just “getting to know each other better”. I mean, sure. Things might look a bit different in their specific scenario – considering they don’t really know each other yet – and are going to have to spend their engagement essentially dating, but it still doesn’t bode well.
Where we’re at: The episode began with a re-hash of last week’s Quiet Woman fiasco. Tamra invited Shannon over to chat, where they actually seemed to have a good handle on the whole thing. Shannon admitted she wasn’t proud of herself for reacting the way she did at the dinner, regardless of how drunk Kelly was or how many buttons she was pushing. Kelly, shockingly, was less kind in her assessment of the evening, basically laughing at her own “Keep eating!” line and coming to the conclusion that Shannon owes her an apology. Kelly also tells her husband that she does not want to have conflict with people, which makes Kelly either a liar or terribly unaware of herself.
Elsewhere, Vicki and Peggy finally met at Lydia’s son’s birthday party. Vicki learned about the Quiet Woman dinner from Lydia, and immediately decided to take Peggy under her wing, telling her to be careful with the other Housewives. Vicki and Peggy seem to have a good heart-to-heart about health, losing parents, and family, which was hopefully a genuine moment and not just Vicki’s way of gaining an ally. Meghan also found out about the party, this time through it was Kelly who drove out to try and mend their friendship.
The episode ended on a more serious note, with Tamra working through a lot of emotions surrounding her family situation. She had to go speak at a dinner for Erasing Family, which is a documentary about estranged family members and the corruption in divorce courts. This clearly touched a raw nerve for Tamra, who has been estranged from her own daughter ever since her divorce. The episode ended with Tamra in tears, however in one of the most shocking plot twists yet, they were actually happy tears, as her son expresses his gratitude to Tamra’s ex-husband – something she clearly really needed to hear.
What to expect: Let’s talk about what not to expect. Don’t expect Kelly to really realize her own role in the conflict she experiences. She clearly lacks the capacity to truly place herself in another woman’s shoes, or to see herself in an even-more-moderately humble light. Don’t expect any of her friends to call her out on this, either. So far it seems that no one has the chutzpah to stand up to Kelly and I truly do not expect them to find it this far in.
Odds of Vicki and Peggy actually becoming friends: 1/3
As much as anyone on this show is a “friend” to another woman, these two seemed to actually connect over their shared experiences of family and loss. Peggy wants to keep her distance from the craziness of the Quiet Woman dinner, which Vicki wasn’t at, so a friendship between the two might seem like a safer haven for Peggy to land.
Odds of Meghan calling Kelly on her rude behavior: 9/1
There is a chance that Meghan, a new mother, will feel empathy for the other women as she hears them through her own daughter’s ears. There is a slimmer chance that this will be enough motivation for her to come face to face with Kelly over it.
Odds of Kelly admitting she was wrong to belittle Shannon for her weight: 50/1
Nope. This is not going to happen.
The late night bit became hugely popular, with stars like Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, Adele, Sir Elton John, and even Michelle Obama making appearances. The Apple Music original program, Carpool Karaoke: The Series is set to premiere Tuesday, Aug. 8th, with a total of 16 half-hour episodes being released weekly. It will differ from the talk show host’s late night bit in that each episode of the series will feature a different host as well as guest.
Odds of a second season: 1/3
Being an Apple Music original series gives this spin-off a better shot at survival than if it were on a traditional cable network. The premise is already beloved, and there is little we love more than watching celebrities in “candid” moments.
Airing at 10pm on Tuesday nights, this Bravo Media docu-series brings ex-couples back together for one whole night to “hash out their unresolved issues.” Over ten self-contained episodes, each pair of exes is given the chance to spend a night together in a one-bedroom apartment, just the two of them. No camera crew, no producers, no people on set, and no interruptions. Fights, hook ups, conversations, revelations, and resolutions are to be expected. It sounds like a nightmare to live, but pretty entertaining to watch.
Odds there are more fights than hook-ups: 11/8
These are people who have agreed to go on TV and be trapped inside a one-bedroom apartment with their ex. Yes, they’re going to fight, because of course they are going to fight. But, if there is anything we can trust reality TV for it is hook-ups and somehow, even with cameras rolling everywhere, there will be lots of them.
Photo: Wikipedia (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jazzart_Dance_Theatre_-_Azishe!_Unlimited.jpg)
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