Welcome back, welcome back! Another week of reality TV has come and gone, and it genuinely feels like so much has happened between last week’s round-up and now. I guess it has, really. When we look back at it, this week kind of ran the gamut. We had major upsets, masterful puppeteer-ing, lots of tears (I don’t just mean from me!) and moments of sheer genius. And, as always, if you happened to miss out on any of it, you have come to the right place.
Go ahead — grab that cup of tea, come sit down, and get comfy. Remember, there is no shame in our guilty pleasures here.
Where we’re at: Alright, at the risk of sounding redundant here, this week was a big week, guys. Not only was it the week that Mark fully woke up and started playing the game, it was also the week that Paul very possibly won the game. Sure, there are still many weeks left. No, we don’t technically know anything. It’s just that we kind of do, right? At least if we are honest. Paul has been the only person consistently playing the game, so unfortunately Mark’s awakening is just too little too late. We have to give the guy credit, though — Mark, that is. Once his eyes were opened, he made no hesitation trying to rescue himself. He spoke with Alex, with Kevin, with Jason, even with Paul. He tried to convince everyone that Matt would be a bigger threat, but Paul’s reach is far too wide at this point. The final vote was 4-2, sending Mark home.
Can we talk about Paul’s game for just a second? This week was a prime example of how good a social game the guy is playing. Everyone was his greatest ally. Every duo his truest confidantes. By listening and laying low this week, Paul ensured that he is on everyone’s good side, but also that his own options are open. By the time final eliminations start rolling around, Paul will have let everyone else do the dirty work, keeping his own hands relatively clean in front of the jury.
He’s either a genius or a wizard.
What’s next: The HoH competition was baseball-themed, called “Everyone’s a Wiener.” Competitors had to stand in giant hot dog buns while condiments and sprinklers assaulted them till they slipped, lost their grip, or fell. Clearly not everyone really was a wiener; there can only be one HoH. While the competition didn’t play out in regular episode time, it was shown on the live feeds and Jason is the new HoH.
He is likely going to nominate Matt and Raven, and is also likely to become an even bigger target himself.
Odds of Jason putting both Matt and Raven up on the block: 4/11
Odds of Matt going home next week: 11/8
Odds of Keving getting Power of Veto: 10/1
Where we’re at: We are in single digits, baby. We moved from the Top Nine dancers to the Top Eight this week, and just like that it feels like the season is going way, way too fast. The good news? The further in we go, the better the dancing gets, and the more opportunity we have to bear witness to the genius that is Travis Wall. I’m not crying; you’re crying.
Bottom Three: Sydney, Mark, and Dassy.
Eliminated: While it still kind of feels like the Bottom Three is a bit of a toss-up each week, this week’s elimination did make sense. After struggling to find her feet during their hip-hop routine, Sydney was sent home.
What’s next: Well, next week, the Top Eight will become the Top Seven, and I will continue to feel emotionally unprepared for each elimination. After this week, Koine and Logan are strong front-runners, Kiki will forever own a piece of my heart, and even though Mark ended up in the Bottom Three (absurd) I think we can expect good things from him yet. Dassy may not fare so well, however.
Odds that Koine ends up Top Three: 1/4
Odds that Dassy goes home next week: 5/4
Odds of Taylor being Bottom Three next week: 3/1
Where we’re at: This post-Redemption week had Tony and Jenna picking teams for this week’s Challenge, giving a lot of power to two people who had literally just been eliminated from the game. Gotta keep it kind of dirty, somehow, right? Episode Six’s Challenge: Teams of two had to drag a huge-a** chest all over a beach, digging holes, crossing bridges, and raising flags to win. Cara and CT won the first heat, which is literally no surprise considering they are both beasts, while Nelson and Veronica won the second. Once again we didn’t get to fully cover both a Challenge and an elimination this episode — we will have to wait one more week for that — but we did get started, at the very least. (If someone in production could explain a few of these editorial decisions, that would be great, thanks.) After going toe-to-toe in a super intense (as in, lasted over an hour) round of “Pull That Guy’s Patches Off So You Can Stay In The House,” Ammo faced his first physical elimination.
In a serious turn of events, as soon as the elimination round ended, Ammo passed out, suffering from a PTSD-related anxiety attack. After showing such heart this season, it was really sad to see him leave on this note, but I can only hope he has the proper space and energy now to really focus on healing. For more info, you can check this out.
What’s next: Next week, it’s Tori vs. Marie in the conclusion to this week’s elimination episode. Aneesa’s entire reason for sending Tori into the elimination round was that she is a strong competitor, and you can expect that Tori will bring her A-game to the beach.
Odds of Tori beating Marie in the elimination round: 4/11
Odds of Kailah and Jordan hooking up: 5/4
Odds that Jordan and Jemmye will actually stay friends: 9/1
In case you missed it, a rap battle turned really ugly on the way home from the club this week. Jordan threw out an incredibly offensive line directed at Jemmye, which he has since address via his Twitter feed.
Where we’re at: It was only a few weeks ago that we were sitting here wondering whether we would ever get any action out of our Wives, and now look at us! This week, we discovered that Lydia should probably consider fast-tracking towards a career in mediation, that no one has reminded Peggy to check her common sense at the door, and that Vicki is actually two entirely different women co-existing rather seamlessly in one body. Doug and Lydia hosted their Nobleman launch party, where Lydia managed to corner both Vicki and Tamra (separately) and convinced them to agree to a meet-up. This was the most (legitimate) progress we have seen in a long time, you guys! But, then Peggy decided to be ultra-honest with Tamra, telling her that maybe it’s just time to get over their feud, and now Peggy is Tamra’s new enemy.
Elsewhere Lydia and Doug were showering one another in presents and praise; Tamra seemed pretty annoyed/upset/over it with Eddie, even though he was trying to surprise her with a trip to Spain; and it turns out that Vicki is a really good grandmother. No, really. There were moments of genuine affection and connection between Vicki and her family, which was wonderful to see. It sort of balanced out the moment she said she loves the idea of Shannon picturing her while stuffing her face with food. Like I said: two women, one body.
What to expect: Where do we order Purple Hearts from? Are they available on Amazon? Because if and when Lydia brings about peace in the Middle East — I mean, gets Tamra and Vicki to actually sit and talk to one another — she will deserve one. Hey, while she is at it, maybe she can do something about the potential Tamra-Peggy rift, as well. Don’t expect peace to come about quietly, though. There are knives on the table. Expect them to stay there.
Odds that Lydia gets Tamra and Vicki together in the next episode: 1/3
Odds of Peggy and Tamra becoming friends: 5/4
Where we’re at: We are officially four episodes deep into Paradise, which is technically two episodes past where we were last round-up, but could we tell? Could any of us tell that any time has passed at all? Don’t get me wrong, it was absolutely necessary for production to address the misconduct scandal in the first place, but maybe just doing it right the first time would have been enough? What do I know? Clearly nothing, because they’re coming back with more next week as Chris Harrison plans to sit down with Corinne. I guess, at the very least, they’re giving them both the space to share their side, but it probably could’ve been done that way from the very start.
Back to the show we all came here for. Remember how Dean and Kristina were already kind of on the rocks? Well, that played out even more this week, as Dean all but ditched Kris for Danielle, acting like a real turd in front of literally everyone. A new girl, Sarah (from Nick’s season), arrived at the beach, and we discovered that she, Raven, and Adam had “spent the night” together in Dallas during hiatus. What that means is still pretty unclear, but what was clear is that Adam and Sarah are into one another in a big way. Lacey was really upset that none of the guys seemed interested in her, so she Nancy Drew’d it (a.k.a she straight up asked every guy if they were interested in her; love the confidence, girl) and eventually asked Diggy out. He agreed, but then later went out with another new girl, Dominique.
Danielle M. decided to leave the show to head to Africa. Apparently before coming on BIP, she had the chance to go volunteer in Africa, and for some reason chose to go to Mexico instead. Either the goodness of her heart kicked into overdrive or she got tired of not falling in love. Either way, good for her! Plus, she got a kiss from Wells the bartender, so looks like she’s about to have her cake and eat it, too.
What’s next: The most obvious answer is: Corinne is back, to talk about her side of the story. The less obvious answer is: Lacey may have a breakdown if no one wants to be with her, and also will be eliminated.
Odds that Adam and Sarah stay together the whole season: 1/3
Odds Danielle M. and Wells become a real-life couple: 4/9
Odds of Lacey getting a rose: 9/1
Where we’re at: This week we moved from the quarterfinals into the semifinals. Before we get going, let me just say, apologies for waiting so long to jump into this one! With so many auditions to get through first, we figured we would just wait for the really good stuff to come around, which it has, so here we go! We started the week with the season’s second live show, and our final 12 acts taking the stage. These 12 contestants were then whittled down to a final seven on Wednesday night during a live results show.
Odds of Celine Tam winning Season 12: 2/7
Odds of Mandy Harvey making it to the final round: 1/3
Odds that Light Balance gets sent home next round: 9/1
The Game Show Network and Sinclair Broadcast System have teamed up to simultaneously launch Snap Decision, a new half hour game show that asks studio contestants to make snap judgements about three strangers who have been recently interviewed on the street. Hosted by David Alan Grier, Snap Decision begs the question: “Can you tell anything about a person just by looking at them?” Looks are so often very, very deceiving.
The show premiered August 7th from 9-11pm on GSN, but will be airing regularly on Tuesday nights at 9pm.
Photo: Wikipedia (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Howie-mandel-ftr.jpg)
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