[July 28: The odds to win Season 12, below, have been updated ahead of the finale, which airs Monday, August 1. Updates are contained in square brackets.]
At some point, a future race will look back at this time in our history and laugh because there were humanoids who loved “reality TV.”
I want to say that this television phenomenon has jumped the shark, but shark-jumping may be the one thing we haven’t seen on reality TV yet, so you know that’s still coming. Of course, we all have our guilty pleasures, and I’m not one to judge. I still watch professional wrestling!
Today is for those of you who partake in one of the guiltiest of all: the bloody-knife-in-hand, unapologetic social experiment that is The Bachelorette.
For better or worse, we probably won’t see sharks on this season of The Bachelorette. But we will see a host of bros fondle, drool, and act like dolts so they can get engaged to a relative stranger.
The show continued the tradition of tabbing the latest Bachelor runner-up as the star/prize, so JoJo Fletcher is our new Bachelorette. JoJo got her heartbroken in the Bachelor finale even though she went … umm … downtown on the first date. (Is nothing sacred?)
This time, she decides whose heart will be shattered. It’s only fair.
This year’s crop of men are a mix of former marines, muscleheads, and plain old dudes who spend too much time taking selfies. It’s no secret that the network wants a mix of personalities for entertainment purposes, and that includes some of the most ridiculous representations of the human race.
So who is going to win the heart of JoJo? Will it be the best-looking? The smartest? The one with the most “game”? Maybe. Or maybe it will be the one who got the drop on the rest with some early JoJo access. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Below are some props for Season 12 of The Bachelorette. If you want to know who will get naked (almost everyone), how many guys JoJo will sex-up (that’s a technical term, sorry for the jargon), and when the true meaning of “love” will be revealed (spoiler, it might not be this season), then keep reading!
Episode one already aired and the following men were executed … er told to go back home to their girlfriends.
Jon Hamilton (Eliminated on episode 1)
Nick Sharp (Eliminated on episode 1)
Jake (Eliminated on Episode 1)
Peter Medina (Eliminated on episode 1)
Sal Dejulio (eliminated on episode 1)
Coley Knust (Eliminated on episode 1)
Rodgers is the one who had the pre-show relationship with JoJo, as I alluded to earlier. It’s hard not to like the guy who got the early leg up.[UPDATE: The finale airs next week and we’re down to two bachelors, Jordan and Robby. JoJo says she’s in love with both of them, and her affection does seem pretty genuine, even to a cynic like me. So why is Jordan the overwhelming favorite? Because of the, let’s say, physical chemistry between him and JoJo. Don’t get me wrong, JoJo and Robby have obvious physical chemistry, too. But JoJo and Jordan are like convicts in a conjugal trailer after a week in the hole.]
Jordan Rodgers: [1/2]
Robby Hayes: [2/1]
Luke Pell: 10/1
Chase McNary: 15/1
Alex Woytkiw: 20/1
James Taylor: 20/1
Derek Peth: 25/1
Wells Adams: 25/1
Evan Bass: 30/1
Grant Kemp: 30/1
Daniel Maguire: 45/1
Vinny Venteria: 45/1
James Fuertas: 45/1
Chad Johnson: 45/1
Christian Bishop: 50/1
Nick Benvenutti: 50/1
Ali Zahiri: 50/1
James Spadafore: 100/1
Will Haduch: 100/1
Brandon Howell: 100/1
Photo Credit: Iain (don’t spell it Ian) Watson (Flickr) [https://www.flickr.com/photos/dagoaty/4863553691].
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