As much as Trump needs Twitter feuds, Twitter feuds need Trump. Before the Commenter-in-Chief came along, Twitter feuds were nothing more than petty squabbles. Enter Trump and now they’re the pettiest squabbles imaginable.
We are but spectators, watching the flames of his feuds saw in the wind and the embers pale and deepen and pale and deepen like the bloodbeat of some great beast eviscerate on the ground before us, knowing that the feud contains within it something of ourselves inasmuch as we are less without it and are divided from our origins and exiles. Each Twitter feud is all Twitter feuds, and the first Twitter feud and the last ever to be.
The only questions: who’s next, and at what odds?
Trump has the potential to feud with anyone on Twitter. Even people without Twitter accounts. Even inanimate objects. Eventually Trump is going to fire Twitter shots at the new French president over immigration. Then he’ll remember how much he likes gold palaces and take @realDonaldTrump to task for souring foreign relations with America’s most gilded ally.
Trump gets blocked by Asma al-Assad on Instagram: 5/1
Trump gets into a fight in the comments of a fake Ramzan Kadyrov Instagram account: 8/1
Trump starts competing with Isiah Thomas for WNBA free agents: 4/1
Trump tags Melania in a video of a dog doing something a human would normally do: 12/1
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