It looks like Mike Tyson is starting 2018 on a high. The former heavyweight champ recently snapped up a 40-acre plot of land in the California desert in order to start “Tyson Ranch,” a high-end cannabis resort. California legalized recreational marijuana on January 1st, and Tyson is looking to become the unified champ of Cali weed. It’s a huge project and he’s recruited two business partners to join him on his latest endeavor.
What’s in store for Iron Mike and the Tyson Ranch? Let’s predict the future through the magic of numbers!
In his heyday, Iron Mike owned three bengals and kept them at his home in Vegas. But the cost to feed and maintain them became too much for even Tyson and he was forced to give them up. It seems unlikely, but would anyone really be surprised if tigers ended up roaming around Tyson Ranch?
Kid Dynamite: 3/1
The Baddest Bud on the Planet: 3/1
Kush D’Amato: 5/1
Budster Douglas: 99/1
It’s fitting that the “baddest man on the planet” should have the baddest bud on the planet, and any strain by Kid Dynamite should pack a mean punch. Tyson could knock anyone out with a single hit, and his weed will probably do the same.
Perhaps he’ll pay his respects to some of the most important figures in his life. Cus D’Amato wasn’t just a trainer to him, he was a father-figure. A strain in his honor seems fitting. Or how about a strain named after his infamous “peek-a-boo” style, which Tyson employed to lay his opponents flat on their back?
Less likely: he dedicates a strain to Buster Douglas, the man who handed Tyson his first professional loss.
This is a huge missed opportunity if it doesn’t happen. Tyson was forced to fork over $3 million after biting Evander Holyfield’s ear (twice), so this is a chance to finally recoup the loss.
Tyson once kicked Don King in the head and later sued him for cheating him out of millions of dollars. The two are not on good terms to say the least, and there is absolutely no way Tyson will want to go into business with King again. That said, King has a unique gift for weaseling his way into things.
Snoop Dogg: 2/1
Willie Nelson: 4/1
Floyd “Money” Mayweather: 5/1
Conor McGregor: 5/1
Cheech and/or Chong: 8/1
Miley Cyrus: 10/1
Dave Chappelle: 12/1
Snoop Dogg needs to get in on this. He’s already neck-deep in marijuana-themed business ventures and no one is more accustomed to Cali weed. A recreational marijuana industry in California without Snoop just doesn’t make sense.
Willie Nelson is another name that springs to mind. If there are two things Nelson loves, it’s marijuana and ranches. Why not combine them? I can’t think of a better person to run a marijuana ranch.
Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Conor McGregor made an unfathomable amount of money with their superfight last year, and you can bet they’re still looking to make more. McGregor is set to showcase his Irish Whiskey this year and Mayweather has launched his own gentleman’s club, Girl Collection. Neither will turn down a opportunity to make money, and California weed is ready for the taking.
It’s no secret that Mike Tyson is reckless with his money. He’s squandered a $400 million fortune and has declared bankruptcy before. Who knows, he may be on the brink of bankruptcy again. If Tyson Ranch flops, we could see him downed for a second time.
Bill Simmons coined the term “The Tyson Zone,” which is when a celebrity’s life becomes so wild that any story about them becomes believable. Running for president would be a bizarre move for Iron Mike, but it would hardly be the craziest thing he’s ever done. Especially now in the Trump era, it doesn’t even sound that bizarre.
Photo credit: Eva Rinaldi (Flickr) CC License
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