Yeah sure, either the New England Patriots or Atlanta Falcons will hoist the Lombardi Trophy after the final whistle blows at Super Bowl LI on Sunday, February 5, in Houston, Texas. But you’d have to be a bit of a stiff to only lay some action on the outcome of the game.
If you’re looking for a thrill – please gamble responsibly – test your luck on what kind of outfit Lady Gaga will be wearing during the halftime show. Or how long Luke Bryan’s National Anthem will go. And if you’re real ballsy, you can even try to predict how many commercials Peyton Manning will appear in.
Whatever you decide to do with your money is completely up to you. But here are the odds for just about everything you’ll witness over the 215 minute broadcast. Or will it be 216 minutes?
We have seen tails in 26 of 50 instances and in each of the last three Super Bowls. Heads is due.
Deferring your decision to the second-half has become the norm in the NFL. Atlanta has deferred all nine coin tosses they have won this season; New England elected to receive in the AFC Championship last week for the first time all season. With two lethal offenses in this game, the coach who wins the toss may decide getting on the board first is more important.
Timeouts are far too valuable to these teams to be throwing that red flag without certainty. Travis Kelce may not agree, but Carl Cheffers and his crew have been pretty damn good this season.
The last time the Pats won the Super Bowl, Bill Belichick received a blue bath. Clear was used four years in a row, but the last was Super Bowl XLII. Orange has been the color of choice in four of the last seven Super Bowls, including Denver’s win last year. Only one coach has escaped the dousing in the last 12 years – John Harbaugh in Super Bowl XLVII.
The win would be historic for both teams, so expect the Gatorade to be dumped at the conclusion.
Everyone remembers the Superdome blackout in 2013, which led to a half-hour delay. (Ironically, the blackout was caused by a device that was supposed to prevent blackouts.) There have been other close calls, as well. In 1982, the Niners team bus got stuck behind Vice President George Bush’s motorcade and almost didn’t make kickoff. Anyone know who Trump is hoping for? He might be getting notions.
After the Superdome incident, I have to think that every Super Bowl host has, like, five levels of fail-safes in place. Right? Right?? I hope so. That half-hour of talking to my family did lasting damage.
Jimmy Graham’s not here to throw down a massive dunk and the stadium has a retractable roof that will keep the elements out. Even if the roof is open, goal posts can withstand 115 MPH winds. The game might get delayed, but the unsung goal posts will continue to stand sentinel.
The Surface had its growing pains last year, but culminated with a strong showing in Super Bowl L, and even got its own moneyshot of sorts!
You’d think players would be on their best behavior in the week leading up to (for most) the biggest game of their lives. Yet, more than a few guys have found the festivities just too much. The Bengals’ Stanley Wilson famously went on a cocaine-fueled romp the night before Super Bowl XXIII, resulting in a life-time ban from the league. If you include getting arrested at an after-party, these odds go way up.
There’s just not enough history or hate among these teams.
There’s just too not enough alcohol tolerance among this human race.
Ah, streaking, the old staple. These days, most streakers at high-profile events are trying to advertise something. I’ve heard the Super Bowl is a good place to advertise, but that might just be a rumor.
flare/smoke bomb: 15/1
slightly deflated football: 19/1
dildo (pink or otherwise): 45/1 (Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?)
dead falcon: 300/1 (Sorry for the imagery, but a live one would just fly away.)
Bats and other foreign objects were banned from NFL sidelines last year.
I don’t think Gordon Ramsay has much of an appreciation for American football.
Is President Trump a part of the family yet?
If Josh McDaniels is waiting for Belichick to retire, he better make himself comfortable. Brady will go first and then Belichick will follow after he gets a taste of life without his quarterback. It won’t happen just yet, though.
What will be more awkward: Roger Goodell having to hand the Lombardi Trophy to Tom Brady, or Goodell having to hold back a smirk if the Patriots lose?
But will they talk about the team suing him for their money back?
Thanks to Blank’s generosity, all Falcons employees will be joining him at the Super Bowl. This act of kindness will also score him a little more face-time on the cameras.
Is it still a “malfunction” if it’s planned?
Nobody is ruling anything out with Lady Gaga set to perform. It may not be a meat dress this time, but prepare yourself for something out of the ordinary. I wonder how many games she’ll get from Goodell afterwards.
Ok, we’re sort of ruling this out.
Recent rumors have suggested that Lady Gaga will be performing solo, but is it even a halftime show if Beyonce isn’t there? Gaga and Beyonce did do that hit song “Telephone” together.
The Edge Of Glory: 3/1
Perfect Illusion: 7/2
Born This Way: 4/1
The opener has to get the fans on their feet. “The Edge Of Glory” seems like the perfect fit.
Til It Happens To You: 4/1
You and I: 5/1
Just Dance: 11/2
Look for Ms. Germanotta to use her closer to leave the crowd with a powerful message. Or she may go full circle and conclude the show with the song that started her career.
Coldplay, along with Beyonce and Bruno Mars, got seven songs in last year, but I don’t know if they had been planning this since they were four-years-old. Although Gaga may have a lot that she wants to cover, her time is limited.
When she goes political, we’ll truly find out how many supporters Donald Trump has.
If so, let’s just pray the stage isn’t on the roof.
If you want to do some scouting, see Luke Bryan singing the National Anthem at the 2012 MLB All-Star Game.
Bud Light: 25/1
Avocados from Mexico: 35/1
Mr. Clean: 35/1
This info hasn’t leaked yet. It could be anyone in the highly coveted spot, except Hyundai, for reasons that we’ll get to. The bigger, richer companies have slightly better odds.
Budweiser won three straight years (2013-15) before Hyundai knocked it from its perch at Super Bowl 50. Both should be back with strong spots again this year. Hyundai has an especially gimmicky ad in the works, producing the entire spot during the game. I hope they at least bought air-time in the fourth quarter.
The odds for the field would be higher if heavy-hitter Doritos wasn’t sitting this year out.
Spoiler-alert, it’s Tom Brady in an Intel commercial.
I don’t think Brady will be multiple spots. No one else has a high enough profile.
Tom Brady: 1/19
Julio Jones: 25/1
Matt Ryan: 50/1
Bill Belichick: 5,000/1
Hahaha, I would pay so much to see Belichick host SNL. You could get a lot of mileage out of a hoodie salesman sketch.
Photo Credit: Joe Parks (Katy Perry Super Bowl XLIX Halftime) [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons.
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