With my March Madness bracket sufficiently destroyed, there’s no reason for this month to continue. I’d much rather we just skip ahead to April, to once again be reunited with baseball. The national pastime has been gone for too long and in our excitement at its near-return, we’ve gone beyond the usual odds to speculate all sorts of ridiculous things that will happen on the diamond this year.
Here’s our all-inclusive odds for the 2016 MLB season.
2016 MLB Odds
Odds on which pitcher will break the most bats (via pitching):
Bats aren’t shattering into pieces at the rate they once were, but it still stands to reason that some of the games hardest hurlers are going to create the most kindling. Gerrit Cole has one of the fastest heaters of all starting pitchers and generally works a ton of innings too.
Player most likely to get injured in a home plate accident:
As Goose Gossage reminded us all, baseball is getting “too soft.” While mostly an old coot, his comments may have some merit when it comes to the MLB’s attempt to stomp out not just collisions at home plate, but all around the basepaths.
A.J. Pierzynski is a holdover from the “golden days”, which also makes him fragile because he’s a million years old. Salvador Perez seems to just have awful luck. But it’s very likely that the only injuries at home come from celebrating.
Speaking of celebrating …
Odds on which team suffers the most celebration injuries:
Odds on the first player to trip running out of the batters box:
This could happen to anyone. But it won’t. It will happen to one of these big clumsy dudes.
Odds on which team will have the most creative rally cap:
Odds on which player will pull the most dugout pranks:
There’s no true Bert Blyleven out there in the bigs these days. Guys seem more focused on, like, improving their swing and fine-tuning their pitching mechanics. BORING! That said, Justin Verlander did his part to keep the dugout mood light (pun intended) a few years back. Everyone who plays with Adrian Beltre has a pretty good shot, too.
Odds on which player will take the most unusual mode of transportation to the ballpark:
If you saw how Yoenis Cespedes spent his spring training, you’d know exactly why it’s him against the world.
Odds on which player will get the most stains on his uniform during the season:
These two players lead our odds for very different reasons. Ever the hustler, Mike Trout will likely accumulate a ton of grass and dirt stains. Sandoval’s will likely be more of the mustard and ketchup variety.
Odds on which pitcher will hit the most home runs:
Winner of back-to-back Silver Sluggers, Madison Bumgarner is the one pitcher you don’t want to face at the plate. Hitting nine-round trippers in the last two years is made all the more impressive since the Giants’ stadium, AT&T Park, is one of the hardest stadiums to hit home runs in.
Odds on which relief pitcher is most likely to fall running in from the bullpen:
Again, it could happen to anyone, but a big buy has to be our favorite. Carter Capps has never displayed any clumsiness, but his delivery is weird, so we know he’s a little off.
Odds on the first manager to go on a post-game rant:
Odds on which team will sell the most beer in a single game:
Hard to imagine a game will draw more rambunctious behavior than the first installment of Yankees-Red Sox at Fenway. Perhaps when the Cards come to Wrigley? Or Canada Day at the Rogers Centre?
Odds on which team will sell the most beer this season:
Not only do the Cards have some of the best attendance in the MLB, but their beer is actually reasonably priced by comparison. (I guess that’s what happens when a brewery sponsors your field.)
Odds on which team will sell the most hotdogs in a single game:
The Rangers do surprisingly well in hot dog sales, considering this is one of your options.
Odds on which team will sell the most hotdogs this season:
(Photo Credit: CityofStPete (Originally uploaded to Flickr)[https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/].)
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